Choosing self value

By the time you read this I will have already started my new job, but at the time of writing, my previous job ended. There were some issues with FMLA, a bunch of bureaucratic nightmares that meant while my job performance was great, my attendance went from pending to a bunch of unapproved. I don't blame my last job, they had a 3rd party group handling FMLA that just made things extra hard to get going for someone with ADHD. I've already found a new job starting in a couple days, but there was an experience that got me overthinking and I wanted to share. 

Often those with ADHD have a lot of expectations because there are things they are super good at. People around them see how quickly they pick up math or science, but then see grades fall or see basic struggles at adulthood. ADHD makes me good at the traditionally hard things and bad at the traditionally easy things. So often we grow up with a lack of self value. We shame ourselves for unused potential. We tell ourselves if only we had pushed through it, we could have done something with our lives. 

But lately as I've learned about my ADHD more, I've come to give myself more credit and more value. So when a job interview turned to sales commission only, I turned it down right out of the gate. Now I'm actually decent with sales, I probably could have done fine there, so if I was confident in my abilities, why drop it? Well I have a family with 5 kids and the stability is more important to me. But if I think I'd do fine, then I'd be basically stable. So I thought for a while. 

What I came to is I was fine with a lower base pay plus commission. The commission acts as an incentive to do a better job. The base pay says we value your time. The problem with commission only is that means my time is not valued UNLESS I've gone beyond basic duties. If I maintain the best customer relations, get perfect surveys, make everyone feel happy to be with the company, well all that effort is meaningless unless the customer needs to buy something, or I convince them they need to.

Now many will say that selling is the job in a sales position so commission means you get paid for doing your job. But I disagree with that. Anyone who has done any type of sales knows the biggest part of a sale is essentially just customer service. You build rapport, you evaluate the customers 'needs' and then you can use presumptive techniques to convince them your solution is worthwhile to them. But the basis of every sale is that rapport and customer service. But in a commission only job, that's unpaid labor. I'm not valued for any effort I put forth UNLESS the customer chooses to buy. 

All my work but the last 5% of a sale is completely without value unless they say yes. And here's the crux of the issue. They don't have to say yes. Even the best salesman ever will get turned down sometimes. So I'm basing my ability to be valued by the company on a customer's choice, regardless of how good a job I did. I choose self value. I choose that my time and effort will be paid, no matter what. If the base pay is more minimal like 13/hr or less, then I'm at least being valued for my customer service skills and I can make my own decision how confident I am with selling. But bare minimum I choose to be valued. 

 

With love and insanity equally, Why not check out this post about overthinking.

J.M.